Empty Nest & All Alone
Posted May 19, 2015
It takes two to make a baby, even with artificial insemination. In fact, that process takes more than two people! So don’t try to do the empty nest alone. The kids have moved out. For God’s sake, I am on my own! Exactly. They’ve left and you’re feeling a huge void, and that void needs to be filled and not with chocolate or wine.
It’s important to know that you shouldn’t feel like you’re doing it alone. Making sure you have a support network around you to help you through the transition is essential to bring back a sense of ease and happiness.
Having a good support network around you whilst you are transitioning through the empty nest is valuable because firstly it lets you know that you’re not the only one going through these emotions. That there is more to life after kids and you can get to know your partner again as the lover they used to be. In fact, ‘empty nest’ can be one of the best times of your life.
By embracing the change (and looking for the positive instead of the negative that so many do) can make the difference between struggling or thriving. Being open to new experiences, sharing your feelings with others and becoming involved in a variety of stimulating activities all help.
This is an exceptional time to meet new people. You could even start your own group if you want to. Imagine an empty nest sky diving team. There is a group called Meetup on the internet. You type in the things that interest you and groups who do that particular thing pop up. There are thousands available, and as I said if there is nothing there that takes your fancy, start your own group. If you’re a bit shy to do that ask a friend to help you.
I have clients who struggle to leave home. They find it really uncomfortable doing new things and become overwhelmed. If this was your friend, what would you suggest they do to overcome this? Write down what you come up with and take that action yourself and give yourself a week.
Here’s a couple of suggestions others have succeeded with: go for a walk, invite a friend, or join a walking group, take a class in something that interests you, stay in a hotel on your own and pamper yourself. Better yet, if you’re married, invite your husband along for a romantic date. Once you step out of your comfort zone it actually becomes more comfortable and feels normal.
Take a deep breath. Go on, you can do it!
You can’t do something once and expect that things will feel different. It’s repeated action that gets results, so make sure you do things regularly and continuously. If after three times it really doesn’t feel like you then pick the next thing and do that. Get out, meet people, make some friends and invite them over for a meal.
Become involved. You can do it